I just had to warn all my Tomato Snobs that the day has come. An awful day I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. A day filled with many trips to the LOU, excruciating gastronomic cramping followed by nausea, fever and weird pains in my hands and chest. This was no ordinary case of food contamination it's Ciguatera poisoning and it's day five - please shoot me. Any other form of food poisoning would be long gone by now, only remembered by the empty rolls of toilet paper in the waste basket, but not Ciguatera. This horrendous experience can last up to two weeks with symptoms even lasting up to one year. Right now i'm in bed praying to wake up normal again.
Wednesday night I enjoyed a delicious fish burrito from Burrito Boyz on Adelaid st. I waited in line for 10 seconds and my order was taken, haddock burrito dressed with guac. lettuce tomatoes cheese rice and beans salsa and burrito sauce (a combination of sour creme and god knows what else). Some 10 minutes later we were on our way home to watch the seasons finale of American Idol burritos in hand. It was hot outside - like heat wave temperature definitely not May weather. I was already feeling a bit flushed from the heat, but knew I would be fine once back in the comfort of my air conditioned town house.
We got home and I quickly dove into my piping hot Mexican treat. Half way through my delicious burrito I started to feel full. With disappointment I put the remainder of my dinner aside. Over the next 45 minutes I started to feel queazy. My nausea was growing fast and my stomach started making strange noises. Like a powerful thunderstorm before it turns into a hurricane I felt my guts begin to seize. After three sharp rounds of agonizing cramps I was nearly crippled in pain. I managed to get myself into the bathroom, and thank god for that because my evening was about to take a turn for the worst.
I've decided to spare you the rest of the horrific details. I've been poisoned by food before, but never to this extent. As I said earlier I'm on day five, and I still feel miles away from being normal again. The last few days have been filled with a nervous combination of rice, toast and gatorade. I tried some soup but nearly ended up in the hospitalized from the outcome. To put a cherry on the whole thing I've spent the last three days doing manual labour - we moved uptown. Body killing, clothes every where boxes galore. I also had to attend a gala fundraiser honoring my grandparents for the Reena Foundation. The night was beautiful, but needless to say I'm was not a happy camper. Couldn't eat anything, couldn't fit into my dress from the bloating, and even worse couldn't enjoy the open bar. If it weren't for the Micheal Jackson impersonator It would have been an all out flop. I'm cranky bloated and freaking hungry - i've got too many symptoms. Now i'm in bed dreaming about unpacking my new home and enjoying my huge new kitchen. No cooking for now. I'll stick to my rice for a few more days, and get some well deserved bed rest.
PLEASE Beware of eating fish in hot temperatures - also of eating burritos made by smelly downtown hipsters. I'm thinking about calling my lawyer.
To read more about food poisoning