You don't say

Someone recently said to me "you don't really have 
a lot of comments on your blog". Oh thank you soooo much, I hadn't fucking noticed until you so rudely pointed it out. Obviously I realize this. I'm not freaking blind. I mean it would be nice if I pose a question in a blog post that someone would be so gracious to responds with something... anything really. I certainly wouldn't hold it against you if you wrote something witty or interesting or even disagree with what I said. In fact I love disagreement!  The truth is I don't blog for the comments. I think most bloggers would agree with me. We blog for fun, for clarity, for confirmation. Maybe even because we can't get people to listen to us in the real world, or we're afraid to express ourselves in our daily lives so we try our words out in the blogosphere. Gross I can't believe I used the term blogosphere - shoot me. Comments on blogs are simply an added bonus. I don't think every post warrants a comment, nor do I think every comment says anything about the actual blog anyway. Of course I am grateful for any of the comments I do receive. Truth be told I wish people would comment more. But I do respect that if you don't have something interesting or intriguing to impart that you just enjoy your visit and be on your way. I read that only 1 in every 100 visitors to a blog actually comments. I can imagine that this is somewhat true since I have analytics on my blog and I know how many page view I get a day.  For myself I know that when I read blogs I'm not always so inclined to write something after I read it. Sometimes I do but certainly not the majority of the time. When I read blogs that are dripping with ass kissing comments and superficial praise it makes me want to stab my eyes out with pointy chopsticks and then toss my eyeballs into a scorching hot wok with some ginger and chinese 5 spice. Then I would eat them projectile vomit everything up all over my kitchen table. After, I'd take an instagram photo of the eyeball vomit with my husband's iphone with one of those cool retro filters so I can pretend it was taken 10 years ago using a lomography camera with expired film.  Simultaneously I would take a video of the entire situation then I would post it to youtube and embed a video file onto my blog. That would obviously be followed by a very interesting and mind blowing post about the whole ordeal complete with a list of ingredients and instructions to re-create my barfy masterpiece for others bloggers and followers to recreate for themselves. Perhaps this would even spawn a bunch of comments and maybe I'd end up on the Foodbuzz top 9 for the day since they love buzzing about weird stuff. Then that would encourage even more comments and congratulations and friend requests I wouldn't know what to do with my self. I would forever be trying to top that blog post and the pressure would be so overwhelming and difficult, would I even be able to? I couldn't bare the thought of letting down my ever growing audience and letting their comments go without response because by then I would be to cool to respond to them anyway. Then all the comments would take a negative turn for then worse and I would only have haters who would talk about my glory days when I would set my toenails on fire and use the ashes to make toe pudding casseroles deep fried in cat piss. They would say oh Jaime - that washed up Tomato Snob she's soooo last season!  But at least I'd still have comments!